Posts Tagged ‘evolving as a human’

body apologyThis has been my meditation lately and my question for myself.

 

(I am down weight wise 115 pounds which is not important, it is just a number but it does mean one thing, I have a lot more free time as I am not eating all the time, but doing other things like meditating on things like this, lol)

 

I recently read something somewhere (not sure where) this premise or idea:

We are either eating for health and to nourish our bodies or we are eating for our disease.

 

Think about it? If you pondered each bite that went into your mouth and ask this question, what would the answer be?

Is this piece of fudge, fad laden chips (or sugar and salt laden baked chips) or sugar candy going to feed and nourish my body with great nutrients or feed the high blood pressure, the diabetes, the coronary artery disease (etc etc)?

Does the sweetness of good and nutritious things full of wonderful body healing antioxidants, vitamins and minerals say in a piece of fruit, fresh vegetables (that aren’t cooked to death or laden with fatty sauces and butter) or lean protein sources lead to my long life, my vitality, my body’s happiness and weight control?

Am I eating to nourish my Life and my body or am I eating what will cause my body’s disease?

What would your answer be?

It takes awhile possibly to start tasting the mouth coating greasiness of fried foods (that somehow tastes disgusting to me now honestly) when the mouth has become accustomed to eating this way. I know because I was that person. I loved fried foods, fatty Poor Boys full of grease soaked fried seafood! (I live in New Orleans after all!) I recently tasted a bite of fried food and I hated it! (It was 15 months since I had dared to try it) I couldn’t take another bite! I am not complacent though. I have been on the weight loss/weight gain dance for a long time, like most of my life, and I know I would “get over” that initial grease repulsion if I slip back into my bad habits and the weight would pile back on again! Same with sugary, over salted foods. I had to wean myself off of some of them or quit cold turkey like a bad habit. It wasn’t easy. No one said this was easy but I have found out, if I look around and read out within the human world around me hundreds and thousands (even) of people are contending with this each and every day!

 

I don’t want to go back there.

So, I ask myself eat day in my mindful eating way, what do I do?

Do I eat for nutrition and to nourish my life and body or am I eating my disease?

I think, for me, the choice is easy…….. Just for today, it is health I crave like water in the desert………..

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I choose me..

 

I read this today (if you want to click on the link to see the image, you can do that of course) but the content of this struck me (I will share it here):

 

“Most of my life has been spent trying to shrink myself. Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less sensitive. Less opinionated. Less needy. Because I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want to be too much or push people away.
I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be cared for and valued. I wanted to be wanted. So for years, I sacrificed myself for the sake of making other people happy. And for years, I suffered. But I’m tired of suffering, and I’m done shrinking. It’s not my job to change who I am in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. I am worthwhile. Not because other people think I am, but because I exist, and therefore I matter. My thoughts matter. My feelings matter. My voice matters. And with or without anyone’s permission or approval, I will continue to be who I am and speak my truth. Even if it makes people angry. Even if it makes them uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave. I refuse to shrink. I choose to take up space. I choose honor my feelings. I choose to give myself permission to get my needs met. I choose me”
~Daniel Keopke.

I thought this was profound when I read it. As a nice former (key word) people pleaser who was raised on self sacrifice, generosity and giving of myself too often I forgot myself in that equation. When I reviewed my life I realized this as I was losing weight this past year.

I think that being giving, caring, loving and even a level of self sacrifice is good and even noble and a spiritual virtue but not at the cost of losing myself and who and what I am to myself. If I can’t do what I need for self care and self love I cannot love another truly. And if my goal is to love fully, deeply richly I have to rethink this I found. Too many times I overate in resentment because I was over extending my own limits and boundaries of what I truly wished to do (even with my generous heart) to the point of and almost toxic unhappiness. I stuffed it all down with sweets for the sweetness I really needed to give myself instead of the junk and sugars.

 

“To thine own self be true.” There is some truth in that.

To be true to myself (and thus to others) I have to give myself permission to explore my life, to exercise and to have and make the time to do that, to walk away from housework and not be perfect at the menial or unimportant details that clogged my days because I thought that was what I “THOUGHT” I was supposed to do. To insist with those who don’t find the temptations of high carb, high fat, sugar laden, wasted junk food calories an issue to understand I can’t have these things around me and I won’t. I won’t.

Respect is what I had to insist on to feel I deserved it and to reap the rewards. I have a husband I love dearly but he is thin, healthy as can be and can eat anything. He means well and did not realize fully what an impact certain foods had on me when they surrounded me each night. Chocolates, ice creams, popcorn, chips, sweets, etc etc until it added up to yet another 20 pounds on my frame. One night I looked him in the eye and said, “Do you want me to live?” and of course he said, “yes” but he balked at the idea of not having these things each night. I struck a compromise that did not compromise me. I told him there was a long list of snack foods that he liked (but I did not) that I had no problem with and that he could eat anything in his shop or somewhere where I didn’t see him at any time. He mentioned the word, “will power” and at that point I was sure it was going to be war (but one I would mount for my life and my well being). After all, wouldn’t I fight hard for someone I love (even if I didn’t know her well yet?). I told him this. (I hate to fight.) Somehow when I insisted it mattered.

I felt in this small step and the hundreds since then (over 118 pounds ago) that I have more worth, more happiness, more love, more giving and more joy in the quality of my own life.  It’s richness has increased and I am sure those around me feel it. But even if they didn’t….

I choose me. I choose me.

 

 

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I did a lot of thinking this week about this blog and what I wanted to write here.

I decided to write on the above subject line but also write a bit about WHAT has keep me on track, best tips, most successful things I have done.

 

So here goes!

1. I walk, not everyday but I walk. (no less than 3 times a week but usually four or five) I try to do it in the sunshine. Know why? In the olden days, the days that weren’t so good I would become a virtual recluse. I got seriously, and I mean seriously VITAMIN D deficient. This is not the case anymore for two reasons: a) I take a supplement and make sure it has me taking at least 1500 MG of Calcium Citrate (not carbonate) each day and it won’t work without Vit D. and b) I get it from the sun! Free and cheap! NOTE here though, USE SUNBLOCKS!! I used a pedometer everywhere. (Mine is a FitBit but others I know have a Nike band or another type. Get something that works for YOU! it IS motivational, walking is free too!)

If you can walk every day, do it! Even if in the beginning it is only a block!

 

2. I take in no less and I mean NO LESS than 70 grams of protein a day, staggered out!

My favorite sources now that I am off of most protein supplements (my favorites of those are Atkins cuz of low carb and Unjury cuz it takes great, is low carb AND low calorie!) it is usually one of these. IF I fail here I will lose it all. I have to shop and make sure I have these in my fridge each week!

a.- Greek Yogurt – (note watch out for secret sugar counts by checking the calorie and carbohydrate counts on the side of the container! If it is over 100 calories or has over 9-10 grams of carbohydrate it is probably packed with at least SOME sugar). My favorite is light and fit Greek yogurt. I eat probably two a day every day!

b. eggs (cheap and great source of protein)

c. String cheese – the lowest fat I can bear. I like Frigo cheeseheads brand. The light version is pretty good.

d. Almond milk – unsweetened, tastes fabulous and if you are counting carbs this has none vs. real milk!

e. I eat meat once a day and not all meats are the same – I like chicken a lot. Boneless skinless chicken thighs cooked in broth with thyme, Knorr reduced sodium stock, celery, green onions, (you don’t need salt with this stock and broth) pepper and reduced sodium broth and a little white wine. I add a bit of cooking sherry but that is optional. Put a tsp of poultry seasoning if you want and bring to a boil, simmer for an hour covered on low or medium) Delicious! I bag up the leftovers and use them for a few days and put the remainder in the freezer after Day 3 so I can throw it into homemade soup on another day.

NEWLY POST-OP ie. under 6-9 months ignore this part: I also take chicken with skin on (a splurge and not for immediate post op or gastric by pass patients because of the fat) and dry it off after rinsing it and toweling it off. I brush lightly with olive oil (and I mean lightly!) I salt with tons of light salt and pepper a little poultry seasoning, some rosemary and/or a bunch of thyme. Bake at 375 for about one hour or until I put a thermometer in and it says 165 degrees at the thickest part of the meat. It should be golden crispy on the outside. I don’t eat the skin EVER, it has about 100 fat calories per inch! I don’t like that! My partner in all things loves that I make this for him though!

Beef is super high in protein but has a lot of fat, I limit to once a week. I have pork once a week. I saute in broth or bake. I do NOT fry ever! 100 calories a teaspoon of fat sucks! I don’t want to record that you know?

 

3.  I take my vitamins EVERY DAY! I want to live without a damage bone structure, damaged nerves from deficiencies and all the havoc that passing out and getting in a car accident could cost. It is part of my duty to myself to have this personal accountability here! I don’t like feeling tired all the time! I take Unjury chewable multiple vitamins, Bariatric Advantage calcium chews (caramel is best), Wellesse B complex liquid just to boost my energy if it ebbs low and as directed a sublingual B12 and/or injection of B12 as directed. I don’t miss any one of those things EVER!

4.  If you are post gastric sleeve I would suggest Miralax EVERY DAY or you will regret it! Tiny stomach, all protein diet, low fiber count and you get backed up. I mix mine with vitamin water zero orange and it’s great!

5. I hydrate, I keep water beside my bed at night and I keep a bottle of Vitamin Water zero at my side always! I drink ALL the time. I didn’t before and I felt slugish, tired, run down, my skin looked bad. Since most of my being in this corporal body I walk around in is WATER I need it and I need it a lot! Kidney stones stink!

When I walk I have a bottle, if I go to the movie theater that’s what I drink usually (more on that topic of movies and going on later)

WATER=LIFE!!!

6. I record EVERY and I mean EVERY BITE that goes in my mouth! Every one! I don’t miss a day EVER! I use Myplate at http://www.livestrong.com/myplate. It is free and when I do this historically, I SUCCEED at maintenance after weight loss, when I don’t I start gaining and losing track of what I am doing. (this also has an APP too for you smart phone users though it’s not as good as the computer version)

Every single weight regain I have EVER had (and there has been a few of these times in my life sadly) it is because I have failed to do so! EVERY TIME! “Just Do IT!” as Nike says! (My favorite all-time inspirational saying!) Don’t miss a day … ever or plan to fail.

Which brings me to………

7. If I fail to plan I plan to fail, also historically true! Plan you grocery lists, your cooking, your food for each day, your protein counts (make sure you get it all in), your exercise, your liquids (beer and alcohol doesn’t count! lol), walking and your time. I have my set list ready in my purse. I check during the week to make sure I have enough for the next day or week. Every day, every week. IF I FAIL TO PLAN, I PLAN TO FAIL!

8. Recreate, get out among other humans. Not sure how and in what? Check out http://www.meetup.com for any extreme number of shared interested (including staying motivated with whatever you are dealing with or want to do) but recreate! I am 3 groups there now. I attend my weight loss support as often as I can. Why? Because I need to see them and they need to see me for the same reasons. Newbies remind me where I was, older people are kept on track see how others are doing and I think it is important to share this journey. It is important. For you it might be weight watchers, or a support group in a 12 step group like AA, NA or OA. All help but we need to give and get support I think. Having something fun to do and places to go to are pretty important especially if you are single.

THERE are FREE exercise groups in Meetup all the time to add to point number 1 about walking. If you can’t afford a gym yet (I bet you will in time) these are usually quite free. IF there isn’t one for your area, START ONE!

9. I had to stop making excuses and get with it!

10. Weigh on a regular basis to keep on track. I do it every am before I eat or drink anything on an electronic scale. Some people have eating disorders made worse by this. With your dietician or whomever is helping you with this by having you weight backwards.

I hope this helps someone but I am certain from time to time I am going to need to come back to this and read it over and over again! Check out the poll!

 

 

LAUGH much and often!

 

inspiration

I think this needs examined a little.

First I think something needs to be lost first perhaps. Or it can be something that one needs to lose. Weight isn’t just all there is in this. With such an attitude I am finding this blog about weight loss is purely not about weight loss but needs to evolve somehow.

So evolve into what? Metamorphosis is the word. What is my personal metamorphosis? For what ever reason I allowed myself to get lost in obesity. I don’t even remember particularly how or why it started. After I get the great nutrition down and underway it is kind of moot except that personal self awareness and self honesty I MUST have to not go back to that deep dark unmoving, immobile space of obesity and zero life.

Second, I have to decide what it is I WANT? What do I want? I want to be part of life, of love, of involvement, of love, of laughter or owning the good and the bad and laughing on into my own destiny NO MATTER where I am at that moment. I want to redesign, to refashion my own life on the fly and own it. I want to be an evolutionary being, a sentient creature who is connected. Connected to myself is first to pardon the touchy-feely here. Then connected to others, included those significant in my life. First and always be true to my being.

It is my life. I want it, I crave it and where I might not (might) climb Mount Everest now, I might climb Mount St. Helens or Mount Manfield or my beloved Appalachian trail. (I have walked 1.2 miles of it which doesn’t do my goals justice, lol)

I can taste it.

When I was “tasting” everything buried in food I had zero taste of life. Now I am getting the gingery flavors of life, zest and passion!

Metamorphosis indeed…

This is my evolutionary quest!

  1. Walk (always the best thing)!
  2. Write here..
  3. Plan meals – healthy meals
  4. Shop for these healthy nutritious meals and snacks – especially in fresh food markets!
  5. Write long and meaningful letters to loved ones (real handwritten ones would be cool or of course e-mails) or send cards to those I care about
  6. Do volunteer work, rewarding, changes the world a little bit to a better place, meaningful and helpful (and is good for the heart and soul)
  7. Listen to music, write music, be someone’s muse, orchestrate music, learn and instrument, organize long IPod (or other mp3) uploads for when I do #1.
  8. Paint, draw, (I am an artist), use collage to (cut out magazine images/words and glue to poster board) show my journal of my journey kind of list a visual diary. Color in color books, anything creative, you don’t have to be an artist (I am one).
  9. Journal (here, in writing on my patio, at a park or in my backyard)
  10. Commune with nature
  11. Go the pool and swim (easy on the joints, great for weight loss – wonderful on the muscles and good for the heart).
  12. Go fishing if you like that or camping if that is your thing or hiking anywhere (see #1)
  13. Go to the park and just hang out.
  14. Read (anything) – like this blog maybe? Read a good good book, get involved in reading and/or listen to audiobooks. do it outside if you can. I have and E-reader and love it! Download books
  15. Movies (I LOVE them but do avoid the sitting in front of the TV all day trap)
  16. Be involved in a support group in person or online – again being supportive gets my nose out of my navel (and helps me in the process).
  17. Be involved in an interest group. Hunt through your area’s “Meetup” groups (see http://www.meetup.com to find some). If you like gaming, it’s there, if you like discussing books, movies, culture, board games, playing cards, it’s probably there and go! IF there are none where you are, start one! Weight loss support groups are super cool.
  18. Sewing, crafts, woodworking, leather work or any other hobbies that truly interest you.
  19. Clean, anything, spring clean, wash laundry, make beds but make sure you open the windows and get fresh air all preferably while listening to music you love.
  20. Organize your world. A cluttered home is a cluttered mind/body and soul. Get rid of things you haven’t used for a year and donate it. (Again good for the heart and soul those less fortunate than you!)
  21. LEARN something/anything new! Take a class, join a discussion group where you learn things, go to lectures (they are usually free) at a University or a library,  read Wikipedia, subscribe to education RSS feeds/blogs or newsletters. Helps the mind grow, it’s interesting and learning is a wonderful thing!
  22. Watch the news, keep up with current events and be part of the world and your community. Reconnect, it’s so important to be connected with others. Stop the isolation! Image